sooooooo close.

sooooooooo close.

i thought we were friends.

fuck that.

it feels good to have something to come to and pour it out. started the morning routine as usual, wake up clothes, vape, write, make bed.

bout to take a walk to the beach.

goal is to get 3 things done for business and 3 done for personal everyday. for life. if I get 3 things done a day that is over a thousand things done a year.

at that point my routine will have been changed and will not need to include such things as stretch, meditate, workout. as these things will have become things that are a part of my make up.

have learned how important the morning routine can be here is my goal.

wake up.

say thank you.

make bed.

meditate.

coffee or tea.

write .

walk.

stretch.

get productive.

enjoy life.

repeat.

 

wish me luck. fuck that. its . happening.

So focused I can achieve great things. And then hide in a cave.

the weight comes off if you let it.

the mind is a powerful beast.  best left undisturbed. intent. grateful

just a few min. and everything can disconfigure.

years of same. and bam. freshness

we dont always need new things you know. reuse.recycle.upcycle.passon.refinish

sometimes the best things are those you cant buy.

this is just a test by the way

Monday. tuesday. weds

its actually thursday now.

time has flown once again.

I am learning to wrangle it.  I seem to know all the answers in my head from my studies of this life.

yet i fall back on the simple mind numb.

mind dumb.

used to be a smart chum.

trying to get passed the fear. set high gear.

dont know how to drive stick.

i try to keep my head up high.

i get too high.

i slip down to the middle.

where all the normal folk live.

and pretend I am better.

for what.

i dunno.

i’m really not.

and theres nothing wrong with that.

there is nothing wrong with that.

Wow. It flies by faster then a speeding train. How bout a high speed train.
This world is a weird strange trip.
Trying to access my hard drive which seems to format its self whenever it feels leaving random fragments of information, known as memory.
Im talking about my brain yo.
Sometimes I wished for an upgrade.
But that is where I have been wrong.
You have to be greatful yo.
I feel like jesse from Breaking bad yo.
HAHA.
It’s not that serious.

So it goes…

I turned 33 years old yesterday and alot of thoughts and emotions have been swarming my mind recently.

It is as if the older we get the more sensitive we become.

I remember being a young 18 year old boy with no end in sight.

No fear.

No worries.

Nothing holding me back.

It was a time which is unreplacable, and really can never go back.

I know too much now.

I have never been a religious man, but definately spititually questioned.

I do not know what happens when we leave this earth, or if we leave this earth.

And sometimes those questions really can leave a hole inside.

With that said, I have been commited to a life of passion, travel, knowledge, love and art.

I am watching my family grow from a distance, and as hard as that is sometimes, I am very

fortunate for the technology that can make that distance seem within hands reach. Yet sometimes that

same technology can also make it seem so much further.  Catch 22 I guess. Wouldn’t replace it.

We are all at a really interesting time in which we interact deeply with technology in our lives.

And me being a photographer I have seen some extreme changes in the last 15 years of pursuing this dream.

Which brings me back to the reason why I started writing this in the first place.

I have a collection of hundreds of thousands of images, videos, audio snippits and soforth.

As do many.

I have taken pictures of almost everything with my handy iphone.  Most of these images sit unpublished,

uncherished, unseen…

I wanted to change that.

This is a short film.

Hopefully to inspire more to do the same.

To go back in time and enjoy those captured moments and find ways to keep them alive and seen.

Rediscover.  Most of us have a treasure chest just waiting for a burst of creativity.

So it goes…

Life 2.0

There were many dark nights, I stayed awake.

Pluggin away with no end in sight.

I would be experimenting with images and moving images just to see what I could do.

I had plenty of time to do so.

I was lonely.

It was my escape.

I never shared.

My heart was unwhole.

I don’t ever want to be lonely again.

Looking back that was a long time ago.

I don’t remember it much anymore.

I didnt take selfies of these moments.

I met her.

Lets say re-met.

I always used to look at her, she was a magnet to my eye.

She never knew that while it was happening.

I was shy. Always have been.

But that night we re-met I was bold.

I had to be… I was in a place where things weren’t going to change themselves.

I made a move.

She was shy.

She was very pretty and shy.

Now I had to create the conversation, and now I can’t shut her up…  just kidding

I love her voice. And her laugh. And her smile and yea yea yea the list goes on.

She has inspired and shifted my life to where I am now. And I love her for that.

Her name is ilona and she is my wife who I can’t keep up with.

She hustles like no one I have ever seen.  I am trying and keep progressing and wish that

drive and motivation came so naturally seemless for me, but we all have to be different and

have our own quirks. Life wouldn’t be fun if we were all the same.

This is not about just my wife.  I could make a film just about her, maybe one day, but it is about

a collection of memories shared between me, family, friends and sometimes strangers.  Most members

of the karass.

So it goes…

Those firsts.

Those firsts memories.

Building and creating.

Loving and living.

Funny and hilarious.

Sometimes sad.

Sometimes dark.

Sometimes mysterious.

That food tho…

Those drinks tho…

those moments after those drinks tho.

those people you cant take pictures of anymore